Hi! Well, it's a long story, my journey from determining myself to be fabulous. You are turning the page into my new journey of discovering fitness as being fabulous and therefore enhancing my already proven fabulousness.
Fitness has been the vain of my existance. In adolesence, in which every awkward stage is heightened by rushing hormones and self-hate, I was pointed out as a "fat kid". I used to become so angry with my parents for not putting me in dance or something athletic. The reality is, I prefered milk-shakes to jogging.
In my senior year of high school I weighed around 155lbs. I had auditioned for the show-choir I'd been dying to get in from middle school on. They were all beautiful and popular and wonderful. When I didn't make the team I became so angry and convinced my weight had influenced the director's decision; I promptly decided to go on a diet (first time in my life). My family and I chose the Atkins' Diet. I began to look at nutrition labels, and I became obsessed. I quickly lost 10lbs and continued to become more and more "svelt". I adored the way I felt! It was during this time I realized just how many calories I'd consumed as a middle schooler. Did you know those wonderful drum-stick icecream cones have about 350 or something calories? I'd eat two or three in an afternoon.
Progressively I changed my attitude toward food. I also realized during college the Atkin's Diet might be a little unhealthy (ie: eating all the fatty portions on red meat, oh and, all the red meat you can handle; mayonaise was ok; pork rinds were ok.... yeah, you get the point). So I jumped on the South Beach band wagon: whole grains, wise fruit intake, lean meats, more veggies if possible, etc. I have pretty much stuck by those rules since. I have, therefore, been able to maintain my weight under 200lbs.
But every single time I get closer to 200lbs I FREAK out. Which brings us to the present year. In February 2011 I married my best friend and the one who challenges me the most out of any human in all of existance. Anyway, about three months prior to the wedding I reduced my calories to approximately 600-1000 a day. I did this fully knowing once I started eating regularily again I would gain weight FAST, but I wanted to be thinner. Thinner has always been the motivation. Not healthier. Not fitter. Thinner. Prettier. Attractive. Approved. I weighed approximately 175lbs at the wedding.
After the wedding I gave myself a month to eat however I wanted. I didn't go nuts, but I ate McDonald's (my true vice), icecream, sushi, pizza, steak, brownies, WEDDING CAKE for weeks. It was amazing. And my alcohol intake increased: beer and a lot of it (the good stuff only - Shiner, Guiness, micro-brews, etc.), wine, martinis, mojitos... ::sigh::
My weight maxed at 193 about 7-8 months ago. I had given myself a month, but I kept eating how I wanted for a few after. It was sometime in April or June that I finally weighed myself because nothing was fitting anymore. When I saw the scale read 193 I was furious. Remember: too close to 200. Then I began thinking of family, babies, belly... shit, I'd be well over 200lbs in no time! Probably closer to 240-260!!! NOOOOO! So, for 3-4 months I began eating MUCH healthier. I cut my calories to 1200-1500 a day. I added some of my South Beach priniciples back in. I started eating salads more often. But it wasn't enough. My weight stayed right at 193. I couldn't lose one damned pound!
All of this climaxes to two weeks ago. I got a stomach flu. (As the anorexic statement goes: "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.") I was stoked. Finally I'd begin to lose some weight. In fact, I lost 7 pounds. But as soon as the flu was over, I, of course, gained every ounce back. I posted this to facebook: "
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