Hunger.

My first thought is: what do I really know of hunger? I think hunger is painful, a grumbling tummy, even an indigestion type feeling in my chest. I get a headache. But... people who actually are starving most likely would give anything for my hunger pains in comparison to their own.

Yet, I will write about my first world hunger as if it were a problem...

My daily points for the past several weeks for Weight Watchers was 28. Yesterday, my husband took me on an super date (which he planned). Breakfast (eggs benedict - my favorite) and then Six Flags. At breakfast I asked for the hollandaise on the side. Good choice! I only had about a tablespoon of that delicious sauce. Then my desire at Six Flags - a caramel apple. I figured, apple - 0 points! Caramel - well I'll figure it out when I get home. :) It's got to be better than an elephant ear or funnel cake, right? (Well, it was... but not by much.) The caramel was between 9 - 13 points.

We walked the whole park. Went on thrill rides, and my favorite part of the whole day: watching people get scared silly by the dressed up ghouls hovering around the park after 5pm. One guy had a chainsaw (without the chain, of course), and he'd rev it by teeny-bopper girls and they would scream and run (and some would cry). Nik and I laughed so hard; I think I almost peed my pants. Poor children.

Well, then we went to dinner. I had kind of decided not to count points.... probably not the best choice. But I got a steak, veggies on the side, and a diet long island iced tea. But we also got chips and queso. And finished with desert.

72 points later, dinner finished, both of us reclining at the restaurant table, hands resting on our happy bellies, I confessed that this was the first time I'd been content and full in over a month and a half. I'd literally been hungry every single day since I start Weight Watchers. In fact, writing this post a day later, my tummy is grumbling reminiscing on our gluttony yesterday.

I come full circle. What do I really know of hunger? We live in a culture of gluttony and instant gratification. In America, we are obese in all realms, not just in body-fat. So, even more of a full circle; I began this blog to chart and track and chronicle my complete repentance: in body and in spirit. I will live with my finite and meager hunger, being mindful of my successful weight loss and being mindful that there are much more acute hunger pangs across our globe.

12!

12 POUNDS DOWN! :D I've never lost more than 10. I'm so happy!

The other day my husband and I went out for a celebratory meal - I'm now transitioning from my old job to my new job (with a two week break). So, anyway, I looked over at myself in the window we were sitting next to and I could tell a difference in the way I looked.

My next goal: 174. My weight when I got married.

The goal after that: What I weighed in college.

The goal after that: What I weighed in high school.

I have about 30 pounds to go.

Woot!

RENT

Ahh. The musical Rent is one of my favorites. I was slightly traumatized the first time I saw it as a Freshman at a relatively conservative Christian liberal-arts college. The scenes I found the most beautiful and moving, captivating humanity in its rawest forms, also made me blush and desire to crawl under my chair in shame for watching, reflecting beauty instead of repulsion. :) But, hey, I'm just liberal that way. Seeing beauty in the mess. (Or I feel much like the God of the book The Shack... either way...)

Rent is the plight of relationships and the realities of just living. Granted, the characters in Rent are dealing with harsher realities than I do. But, it feels like, lately, rent consumes my thoughts.

I accepted a job in a different town. But, we're technically stuck in our current lease. The red tape and the inability to work out a break-your-lease compromise is keeping me up at night. One night, in a fit of stress induced insomnia, I rolled over, sighed, and proclaimed to my husband: 'I think I want to go knock on the apartment managers apartment door, wake her up, and make her sit with me until I'm sleepy because it's her apartment that is keeping me awake.' He laughed, but I don't think he remembers a word I said. (He is sleeping fine these days...)

But, in an unrelated topic, I did want to share that over the past month Weight Watchers has been successful!! I've lost 11 pounds this month as of Sunday, October 14! I weigh in on Sundays. I've been working out when I can, but the job transition has made finding time difficult. The following two weeks, however, I will have off. I plan to buckle down and go in the mornings.

Thanks for continuing to follow this - if you do. Hopefully I'll post much more in the month to come!